Porky Pig is gone...

Unless you're a lesbian into fat, dumpy bigots then you're happy to see Rosie O'Donnell leave The View. I'm not even sure if Rosie is a woman to tell you the truth. So Rosie announces she's leaving on the air and claims she only wanted one year, but ABC was needing three years and that is the reason she's gone because they couldn't agree to terms. Let me ask you a question: if Peyton Manning was a free agent this year after winning the Super Bowl and he only wanted a one-year contract, would you tell him to fuck off? You would if you're slow. The ratings were up for The View so you can't tell me this was it. If she's bringing in the money then you keep her on a year-to-year basis. The reason she's out is because the woman can't seem to keep her big mouth shut! I mean, how much idiotic drivel did she have to spew before someone said enough? This is a reaction to the whole Imus thing and more to what I call the "pussification" of America. I don't know if it's because she was a gay, white woman or what---she got cut WAY too much slack. Good riddance to this disgusting slob--the next picture I want to see is of Rosie passed out with a Slurpee in her hand and hot fudge dribbling out of her mouth... Just one more thing--arrivederci, fuck chops!

Sometimes you just have to shake your head

Torii Hunter might be in some hot water for a promise he fulfilled. He sent four bottles of champagne to the Royals as a thank you for beating the Tigers last year. The wins at the end of the season gave the Twins, Torii's team, the AL Central title. Here comes the absurd part--he could be banned for three years because this is considered an incentive from one team to another. So let me get this right, baseball...I could offer someone a horse to beat another team and be banned for three years, but I can take some horse steroids and you'll only suspend me 50 games for the first offense. Yeah, this makes a LOT of sense.

Sometimes it's better just to keep your mouth shut

Why do Hollywood types decide once they become famous it's okay to start talking politics? How many of these idiots even finished high school or have even done any kind of research? Just once when a reporter asked them a question it'd be nice if they just said, "I don't pay attention to that shit" or "You know, I can't say one way or another because I haven't read much about it". Wouldn't that be refreshing? I mean, give me a break! These people influence others when it comes time to vote because they figure, "I'm an actor so I guess that means I'm a Democrat." Can that Garofolo chick even read (notice I probably didn't spell her name right, but only because she hasn't done shit in so long she's probably giving blowjobs to execs just to get a job nowadays)? She spouts off without really knowing shit about the social issues. I'm not going to pretend I'm well informed about things, which is why you won't hear me shooting off at the mouth.

I bet Alec Baldwin wishes he'd kept his mouth shut, too. Definitely not the thing to say whether you're famous or not. I gotta say both parents here are SERIOUS whackos in serious need of some assistance. If you believe Kim Bassinger didn't release that voicemail and America is worse off than I thought. Maybe if a hole sucked up both of these people we'd all be better off. Then we could remember them as that happy couple in the movie--ummmm, what was it again? Never mind--it was a good time.

Fat pig Rosie O'Donnell decided to drop a bunch of "F bombs" and shout "eat me" at Donald Trump. Nothing too surprising from this disgusting tub of shit except she dropped all this during a function honoring women. Having Rosie as an example for women is like having Hitler lead your race relations discussion. Doesn't this idiot understand she continues to make a bigger ass of herself each time she opens her mouth? Trump owns this bitch and the sooner she realizes it the better off we'll be and Rosie can go back to eating her gallon of Ben & Jerry's before she tapes the View.

Gun control--an overreaction

In the wake of the VA Tech shootings there have been many people predictably laying blame on the school administration for not locking down the university (excuse me, how many cops do you think they have to seal off every possible entrance to a university campus?). I've heard some say we need to have metal detectors at every building, which is absurd as well. If I wanted to I'd wait for a dead period between classes, walk up, and shoot the security guy before continuing on in the building. This might sound harsh, but in reality it's simply the truth. America is not nor will it ever be completely safe. We can do our best to try and limit damange not just from man-made harm, but also from natural disasters. We have doppler radar and sophisticated equipment yet Hurricane Katrina still wreaked havoc and earthquakes still cause destruction. We have new safeguards in place to try and prevent another 9/11 attack yet someone will decide to crash and aircraft somewhere else with a maximum effect. We have barricades and checkpoints at government buildings to prevent another Oklahoma City, but someone will find a way to make the bomb smaller and safe from detection. We build safer cars yet people still die--some the product of road rage like what happened here in the DC area where a man ran a car off the road and killed two people. If someone decides they're going to kill they're going to do it. Nobody is going to stop them from deciding it's going to happen. But it doesn't mean we leave completely in fear and stay indoors trying to ride out the storm. You might think I'm being a little morbid and have a doomsday mentality, but I'm just being realistic--seems lawmakers don't necessarily live in that world.

So this brings me to two editorials I found on www.cnn.com. The first is from Tom Plate, a professor at UCLA, who believes no one should be allowed possess a gun. You can find the article here. I found his article interesting in the way someone smoking weed might think the world is perfect. He talks about how the tragedy somehow makes it harder for him to be proud of being American--huh? He talks about how people have focused on him being a Korean. I agree there that race has nothing to do with it--this guy was off his rocker and it didn't matter what race or ethnic background he had. Sure, gun violence has seemed to be on the rise. Used to be you'd get into a fight with fists and that was that. Nowadays you have to worry about someone pulling a weapon on you or coming back later to exact some measure of revenge. But I don't think guns caused people to do that--not sure what, but I don't think that was it. I do agree with Mr. Plate the mantra that "guns don't kill people. people kill people" is a tad on the absurd side because someone has to aim the gun and pull the trigger. Mr. Plate tells the story about how he was robbed at gun point by some guy as he was taking groceries inside his house. Let me tell you something, Mr. Plate, that guy probably wasn't someone who went and legally purchased a firearm. And why he brings in the whole Korean thing again at the end makes no sense to me. One person responded to the article by saying guns should be made more difficult to get. Why would you make guns more difficult to get for law-abiding citizens? This lady is out of her mind! How long have we been fighting the war on drugs? We have seizures all the time of drug caches and dole out stiff penalties. And yet people still score drugs. Get real, lady.

Ted Nugent's article with an opposing viewpoint (found here) discusses some of the fallacies with the idea guns should be outlawed. I've got to say I agree. I don't own a handgun, but why not protect yourself if necessary so I don't have a problem with people LEGALLY obtaining a firearm if they so choose. In a response, Doug from Houston TX believes it's absurd to let everyone own a gun because criminals will find a way to gain the upper hand on their firepower. I believe Doug was dropped on his head. Doug, WHY DO YOU THINK CRIMINALS USE GUNS NOW? Because they know you probably don't have one! I can't foresee a criminal trying to be conspicuous with an M-60 under his trench coat waiting to mug someone or taking a chance on robbing someone who might have a weapon themselves. Do you think if cops were unarmed they wouldn't be held at gun point? Please. One guy from New York says we should be able to posses rifles for hunting, but handguns go too far. Ummmm, buddy, what happened was used during the DC sniper scare a few years back? It wasn't a 9 mm.

The next time someone runs over people with their car we're going to start considering bans on vehicles. Knives will be banned the next time some idiot goes around randomly stabbing people. Read Ted Nugent's article and you'll see a couple of other examples he gives. Bottom line, like I said before, people that set their mind to kill people or do harm will find ways to do it. Hopefully law enforcement agencies will intercede, but there's always going to come a time when it is up to a regular citizen--like the assistant principal in Pearl, Mississippi (more examples in Nugent's article)--to put a stop to the carnage.

Odds and ends from the sports world

Unless you've been living under a rock you know that A Rod is off to a shit-hot start to the MLB season. The guy is second fastest to 10 home runs behind Mike Schmidt. He didn't get to 10 last year until late May. 2 of those 10 have been game-winners, which for a noted choke artist like A Rod is a big deal. He's actually been pretty money this year, but this weekend will certainly tell a lot about whether or not he is clutch in the eyes of Yankees fans. This is the first of what will be many series against the Red Sox that will no doubt be overhyped to the extreme by ESPN. If he can get some key hits during the series it's going to be huge for A Rod's confidence. Otherwise, this bastard is going to shrink back into his hole and pout like a little bitch for the rest of the season--and all this from a guy that likes A Rod!


If you're shocked Greg Oden is entering the NBA draft then you were the same moron shocked when that fat pig Rosie O'Donnell came out of the closet. There's no way this guy was going to pass up that much money to play college ball another year. Part of me wishes he had stayed because watching him dominate a bunch of 6'9" "centers" was a bit fun and it would've been cool to see what he could do for a full season with two good hands. Oh well. I still think this guy is probably 35--he's the Danny Almonte of college basketball.


Along with Patrick Ewing, Willie McGee, and Otis Nixon, Kevin McHale was quite possibly one of the ugliest people in sports. As a child I seriously had nightmares about this fug dude. He looked like he was jaundiced on the court and was about to keel over dead at any second. Keeling over dead at any second is what T-wolves fans were thinking when McHale announced he was sticking around for next year. People were excited when he first showed up in Minnesota, but this guy's been all downhill lately with very questionable personnel moves. Looks like the "Fire McHale!" bags will be around for another season.


Some of you might be wondering what this picture has to do with sports. For those of you who have never seen him, this is the picture of Mitch Mustain in the Arkansas football media guide from last year. This dude is a serious little bitch, who it turns out is transferring to USC next month. This guy has got to be the biggest crybaby. When his and some of the other players' parents went straight to the school administration with concerns about playing time, each of the players should have cut their balls off. There was the parent who claimed their son would be hauling in 80+ catches at another school. That guy should've been given a drug test on the spot. I went to Auburn University so I know a thing or two about college football and the fanatical following it has in the South. But this was ridiculous. Houston Nutt will have arguably the best backfield in the country next year with Darren McFadden and Felix Jones. He'd be a complete dipshit to not put the focus on those two guys. Mustain is just another spoiled little punk who bought into his own hype. Here's to hoping that slapdick rides the bench for the rest of his career...

Ummm...yeah...

You might not be able to read this, but if you click on it you can scan it. If you're too lazy to go then I'll tell you it's a Nike ad, which I received in an email. It blabs on about the Rutgers team and the Imus comments. Why? There's a bunch of crap about how it's great for bringing up the Rutgers story, and how we should think before we talk, and that there's another tournament in March. Let me tell you something about this--NOBODY GIVES A SHIT! I'm trying to think of how many people I know actually watch women's basketball and I can't think of any. Nike is right about another tourney in March--the MEN'S tournament! These comments don't push women's sports forward. How many people do you know are going to say, "You know, after those racist and sexist comments, I'm going to watch some women's college softball so I can see a chick who weighs about a deuce-and-a-half squeeze into a pair of size medium spandex shorts!" (Hopefully you don't think I'm being a fattist for those comments) This is ridiculous and I'm done. No more comments until the next poorly veiled attempt at selling some product. I love how Nike's site has a bunch of shit that has NOTHING to do with women's basketball for purchase right below the video. It says, "We're really socially conscious so buy our awesome gear!"

The fall of an icon...

Unless you were gay or had a lobotomy you used to think Britney Spears was one of America's hottest pieces of ass. To borrow a line from www.wwtdd.com, her ass was every teenage boys' target...probably more than just teenage boys. How many of us 20 somethings (back then anyways) had dirty thoughts about this girl we kept private for fear of being arrested and branded as perverts? It's okay, you can raise your hands now--you're around someone who understands. My wife would call her slut and all I could think was, "all the better--less effort required!" I know this might seem wrong and my wife will shake her head in disappointment, but it's true and that's what is so thought-provoking. Once the K-Fed thing happened she went straight downhill. This girl turned into a fat, dumpy redneck who flushed her life down the toilet in a heartbeat. Other hot little pieces of booty stepped up to take her place and American men everywhere rejoiced. A couple of my choices: Christina Aguilera who has gone from hot, to not, to hot again--even if she is married to a guy whose head looks like a caricature--and Jessica Biel. If you haven't seen the preview of the movie she's in with Adam Sandler and Kevin James, you're missing out. Make sure you're alone and have some napkins handy. Trust me, you'll see what I mean.