We all make mistakes

To all of my loyal reader, a while back I posted a blog about Jennifer Love Hewitt and that we needed to see her naked soon. How she was such a cock tease. Well, I've made mistakes before. And when you look at the picture on the right you can see I made one HUGE mistake--huge like the cottage cheese thighs on JLH. Talk about a cure for priapism--yeesh!

Nebraska coaching search down to 2?

Like most people have been speculating since the Bill Callahan is fired rumors started. It was said Tom Osbourne wanted to bring in a guy who had ties to Nebraska and understood how important the Cornhuskers program is to the state. Let's face it. If there wasn't a Cornhusker football team the state would lead the nation in suicides. The two leading candidates for the job are current University of Buffalo head coach Turner Gill and LSU Defensive Coordinator Bo Pelini. According to ESPN.com, "Radio talk shows and Internet message boards have, ad nauseam, addressed the merits of Gill and Pelini. Fans have taken particular interest in those two because of their ties to the school." Let's talk about ties to the school. When I think of having ties to a school I think of a person who has spent years at a school or was a player there. Turner Gill I can understand. Dude was a star quarterback for the Huskers. He can do no wrong in the state of Nebraska. Bo Pelini? Dude grew up in Ohio and played for Ohio State. And he was a coach there--FOR ONE YEAR! You want ties, bring back Frank Solich. What did he do to get fired the first time? He won 10 games, which was somehow disappointing. Callahan had to go, but Huskers fans, give me a break with the school ties thing. I once took a shit in Boston. Maybe I can use my ties to the city to run for mayor...

Whose career is going down faster than a hooker paid $50?

That's right. It's Britney Spears. This is how I like to remember Britney Spears. A young, tasty piece with a tight everything. The chick wasn't very talented--it was the body. Throw some heavy breathing singing and a techno-hip hop track and there you go. Nothing more, nothing less. And now the magazines think it's her shitty family history that's the reason for her sudden fall. There are LOTS of people with shitty families. There was a statement about her showing a reporter her fake ID during an interview when she was 17. Who WASN'T drinking at 17? Give me a break. And now there's a story about Britney Spears going into a store and trying on underwear in a store before walking out with a mannequin's wig. I'm sure it was her family that caused her to become a fat, bald, sloppy piece of shit who has zero parenting skills...

A 'Dancing with the Stars' Conspiracy?

I only watch this show for the hot piece of trim at the right, but I've noticed something when my wife is watching it using our DVR. How is Marie Osmond still on this show? First, she passes out after one of her routines. So that buys you an extra week with the sympathy vote. Then her dad dies, which of course buys her another week on the show even though she's clearly the worst dancer left on the show. I'm guessing Marie's handlers decided killing off another Osmond wouldn't produce the same results as her dad kicking the bucket. So how is she still on? The Mormons. Yes, Julianne (the talent in the picture) is Mormon, but it's obvious she's like the hot cousin from The Munsters to them--an oddity to be ridiculed and pitied. Marie Osmond is like their Queen and the giant Mormon behemoth will not be denied the chance for glory!

Ladies, don't marry a Peterson!

First there was Scott Peterson and now Drew Peterson. A woman married to a Peterson's life expectancy has got to be around 30-35. If you're an insurance salesman and a Mr. Peterson comes in to take out a life insurance policy on his wife, Mrs. Peterson, call the cops. Immediately. Because a murder's about to happen!

Houston Nutt is out at Arkansas

It looks like Houston Nutt is out as head coach of the Arkansas Razorbacks. Before you cry for the ball coach keep in mind he's going to get a nice settlement check (ESPN.com says about $3.5 million) for his troubles. How did Houston Nutt end up here you might ask? In 10 years Nutt won 61% of his games, won three SEC West titles and took his team to the SEC Championship game twice. Yep. Pretty decent I'd say.

There were some problems along the way. Houston Nutt was a serious candidate for the Nebraska job when it came open and I don't think Arkansas fans ever got over that. Mitch Mustain, who was proclaimed to be the greatest Arkansas high school football player ever, went to Arkansas for a year and then transferred. Apparently he thought he, a freshman, should be getting more playing time than the kick-ass run duo of Darren McFadden and Felix Jones. They also had some ass clown receiver whose dad said he'd be getting 80 catches at another school. As a fan I understand the situation. In 2004 a little running back tandem of Cadillac Williams and Ronnie Brown were beating the shit out of everyone in the SEC on their way to an undefeated season. Jason Campbell was a solid reliable quarterback, but we weren't relying on him. Arkansas fans used the Freedom of Information Act to get Houston Nutt's cell phone records because there were rumors he was having an affair.

These are some REALLY grateful fans, huh? Here's the problem with Arkansas fans: they're expecting too much. You're the Arkansas Razorbacks. You should be happy with 8 wins in a season and SEC championship-contention every 4 years or so. You just aren't an elite program and probably never will be. It's that simple and when this guy goes you're screwed.

Besides the money, Houston Nutt will get another job somewhere else (Ole Miss should throw money at this guy) and there's another reason to be happy to leave now. Darren McFadden is definitely gone--he could've left last year and decided to stay. No way you get another year out of him. Felix Jones is a junior and chances are he's a lock first-rounder as well. He might stay only if he thinks being the feature back will improve his NFL stock and get him some top 5 considerations next year. Marcus Monk, who was hurt this year, but is a beast, is a senior and will be gone. This team relied on its Wildcat (or Wild Hog) formation--if you saw the Arkansas-LSU game you realized they ran out of that formation something like 75% of the time. Houston Nutt should thank his lucky stars he's leaving because next year's team will be seriously fug.

Who took care of business?

Hawaii did with a convincing victory over their rivals, Boise St. With an outright WAC title and BCS bowl bid on the line, the Warriors from Hawaii stepped up to the plate and punched the Broncos in the mouth. Colt Brennan completed almost 80% of his passes for 495 yards and 5 touchdowns. The defense for Hawaii actually stepped up in the running game, an area teams normally take advantage of, but it was a total team effort that understood what was on the line and did what it had to do.

A team that managed to take care of business albeit in a completely different fashion than Hawaii was Tennessee. With a chance to head to the SEC championship game against LSU and possibly go to the Sugar Bowl with a win, the Vols blow a 24-7 halftime lead. They have two great chances to put up a game-ending score in the last 6-7 minutes of the game and both times they punt. Even a field goal would have forced Kentucky to go for a touchdown, which Kentucky almost got to win the game. With a stop in the 4th overtime Tennessee is headed to Atlanta and I'm sure they'll be looking to take LSU to OT since they suck so bad. I give Tennessee a shot next weekend because of the severe letdown LSU feels from blowing a chance at the national title, Les Miles is going to be blamed by fans for having his mind on the Michigan job, and I really can't stand the drunkards from Baton Rouge one bit.

Speaking of taking care of business, West Virginia decided to leave no question as to who should be in the title game with a 66-21 ass whipping of Connecticut. The Mountaineers are a very scary team right now. i don't think it matters who they play they would be the favorite in my book. Again, they knew what was required to achieve their goals and they laid down the hammer on the Huskies.

Lucy Pinder is hot

I have no fucking clue what this chick does, but it's obvious she's President of the NABTA--Nice Ass, Big Tits Association. Enjoy these PG-13 photos, but Google does have some excellent featurettes. All I can say is damn.

Idiot parents

I'm going to be a first-time dad soon so it's a little scary wondering if you're going to know what to do. You just hope you don't screw things up. Like these two. This lovely couple decided to go shopping at some outlets--a little late-night, post-Thanksgiving shopping. So rather than do something silly like leaving the woman's two-year old son with relatives they decide to just lock the car doors and leave him in the parking lot. And it only got down to about 36 degrees so I'm sure the little boy was fine in his t shirt and jeans (he was barefoot). Apparently the mother didn't want to wake the child. What? The dude is not only charged with confining an unattended child, he's also facing a marijuana possession charge. I wouldn't trust these two with a paper route.

And somehow the authorities turn the kid over to relatives of the boyfriend. Yikes. You might as well tie a steak around his neck and throw him in a lion cage.

A few college football observations

I have an issue with a recent trend I've noticed in college football: The mid-air ass bump after touchdowns. Really? You can't come up with anything a little more original? I thought that move was permanently retired like the Members Only jacket and parachute pants.

My top two annoying college football announcers: Brent Musburger and Chris Spielman. Every play for Brent Musburger has to be the momentum killer or builder. Every guy who makes a big play is suddenly the epic, mythical guy. Lighten up a little bit, bro. Games aren't decided on a 7 yard run in the second quarter of a game. Chris Spielman is annoying for one simple thing: he tries to be the Billy Packer of college football with the sudden, spastic remarks after breaking down a play. Billy Packer is annoying enough when he does it. We don't need you and Jay Bilas trying to do the same. It's seriously grating.

Are CBS and ESPN smoking Tim Tebow's pole? You'd think this guy was already annointed as the greatest college football player of all time. Yes, he's the first guy in history to rush and pass for at least 20 TDs each. But what was the question people asked after Florida won the national title? With Chris Leak gone, can Tim Tebow win as the full-time guy? Three losses in the conference would suggest people should hold off on the Tebow coronation for now...

Is there a college football team this year that can play with something on the line?!

That logo to the right is the game every college football team hopes to be playing in at the end of the year. Most years the top teams take care of business week in and week out. Sure, a couple get tripped up by unexpected teams or a tough rival. But this year more than any has been surprising. Some people will say there's more parity than ever, but I think it's crap. There have been plenty of teams that have lost to inferior opponents. How many times out of 10 does Standford beat USC? You can't tell me anyone thought they'd beat the Trojans. And a team like USC has LOADS of talent--enough to field all of Stanford's starters. You look at SC now and who the hell would want to play them in a playoff format now that they're healthy? They are a nasty bunch. Cal, with a great shot to move up in the rankings loses to an unranked Oregon State team. That was one nasty Beaver I guess--sorry, couldn't help it. Then-No. 1 Ohio St loses to Illinois at home to drop down in the BCS standings and miss out on a chance to play in the BCS title game. The next week Ohio State dominates a Michigan team, which went to Champaign and beat the Fighting Illini by 10 points. LSU, twice the number one team in the country this year, loses to an overrated Kentucky team and then loses to a not very good Arkansas team (Houston Nutt should leave now because he won't have Felix Jones OR Darren McFadden next year and your QB will have to throw it more than 15 times) to dash any hopes of playing for the national title. West Virginia had a great opportunity to stay at the top and lose to an overrated South Florida team, who themselves got up to the #2 ranking in the BCS only to lose to a decent Rutgers team. Sure West Virginia has a chance to play in the title game, but it's not because of anything they've done. Had the teams above them simply played like they were supposed to there'd be no hope for the Morgantown folks. Oklahoma was another example. They are in prime position to go to New Orleans against a Texas Tech team they should have beaten. Instead they can only play the role of spoiler after losing this game and a stunner at Colorado. With the Sooners loss, Texas needed to win today and then hope for an Oklahoma loss to Oklahoma St. Instead they allow the Aggies to roll up on them--the game wasn't as close as the 8-point score. Texas A&M never trailed in the game.

I just wonder what it is this year with the top 2 spots in the BCS. Is it a lack of concentration by teams? If so I think part of that is poor coaching. You have to keep your players on track. Maybe it's a lack of a killer instinct by teams. I hated the Nebraska teams of the mid- to late-90s, but they didn't take it easy on anybody. Remember what they did to Florida and Tennessee in national title games? How about those USC teams? It didn't matter who they were playing. They were sure to, in honor of the Southern folk, stomp a mud hole in your ass to make you think twice about how good you are.

I'll be curious to see how Hawaii does tonight against the Broncos. Can they shake off that bad joojoo against Boise St and keep their dream season alive or will they decide to play like dogshit, roll over and play in ANOTHER Hawaii Bowl?

Natalee Holloway ordeal almost over?

So the three guys who were arrested two years ago in connection with the disappearance of Natalee Holloway have once again been arrested. Supposedly there is some new evidence that prompted the new round of arrests. I haven't heard what this new evidence is, but aside from the family and friends of Natalee Holloway does anybody really care?

I heard this on the radio and it took me a second to remember who the hell this even was. Most people have moved on to other scandals, murders, controversies, etc. I'm sure most people saw this, shrugged their shoulders, and moved on. Wake me when you actually have a body or confession. Maybe then America can start taking an interest again. Otherwise it's a bunch of the same old suspects, who were released, being re-arrested for who knows what. Yawn.

You might think I'm cold and heartless, but think about it for a second. I should be outraged and somehow preoccupied with thoughts about Natalee and mystery behind her murder. Please. Most people, while they won't admit it, had it in their consciousness for about 5 minutes then went back to cooking dinner, playing with their kids, having a beer, getting ready for a workout, or getting the old ball gag out of the closet.

Damn...

I've had this on again, off again thing with Christina for a while. When she first came on the scene I thought she was cute, but she didn't have the tight little body of Britney, who now has a dumpy figure, bald head, and fat face. Christina went from cute, to some type of skanky sperm receptacle, to being SUPER hot like in the picture here.

But to achieve new levels of hotness you have to go above and beyond. I would recommend that if you're a woman you should not go to this page. Also, if you're at work memorize the link and go when you're at home. Possibly alone. I talk about hot pieces of trim all the time and now you can see Christina's in all its glory. You've got to love the Brazilian...

Go here for a little slice of heaven.

The Saudis are some crazy bastards

This story is pretty damn crazy. A woman and man get kidnapped. The woman is raped by the assailants and she's getting 200 LASHES! According to Saudi Islamic law a woman can't meet with an unrelated man.

You know what I say? Tough. If it's against their law then so be it. Of course, someone in American has to be offended for the woman, even if she did agree to the punishment. You knowingly do something wrong what do you expect? It seems most people in death penalty states don't understand the hoopla over human rights groups that denounce capital punishment. But cane a kid for breaking the law in some Southeast Asian country and we're up in arms.

You ask me I think the Saudis have some of that shit right. Get caught stealing and your hand gets chopped off. Think you'll do it again?

You want to stop a child sex offender? Cut his balls off. See if you have a problem then. We're so quick to kill a person, but God forbid we should make a guy sterile. Because that would be wrong.

Heather Mills--still annoying

I heard a little more today of an interview Heather Mills did with a British TV station. Apparently Heather Mills hasn't wanted any money from Paul McCartney--never has. And yet somehow there are still divorce proceedings going on. Also, there are death threats and if anything should happen to Heather a packet with a bunch of secrets will be sent to a certain person for release to the public. She also "knows things" that could damage Paul's reputation. Heather has no idea why the British public hate her guts. Ummmm, how could this have turned out any other way?!

She's dating a fuckin' Beatle!! What other outcome could you expect? She might as well have killed Diana herself (and why are people still bothering with that whole investigation) or taken a dump on Churchill's grave. Heather Mills trying to get the British to like her is like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. Yes, the pun was intended.

Heather Mills, shut the fuck up!

Is this bitch serious? She's on the Today show saying Paul McCartney would admit to the cause of the divorce being his fault and everything would go away.

Here is a little something from an article on the Cleveland Dealer: 'With regards to the divorce, Heather said: "When I left Paul, I said: 'Protect me from what is going to be a modern-day stoning from a certain portion of the tabloid media and I don't want a penny'."'

So now Peg Leg stands to gain $100 million from her divorce?! And she's making a tour of the talk shows like she's promoting a book?! Interesting...

How in the world did this skank ever think people would be on her side of the story. There could be video evidence of Paul McCartney and a horse--it still wouldn't matter on damn bit. THE GUY IS A BEATLE! He's beloved around the world. And this moron decides to try and improve her public image.

Talk about being a one legged man in an ass kicking contest--literally! Take your fake leg, go home and pray you don't wake up one morning with your fake leg so far up your ass your breath smells like feet...