Is this America's hottest piece of ass?

And here I thought I was God's only perfect human being. Then I see this photo, along with some others, of Jessica Biel taking out the trash in a robe and some fuzzy slippers. I would seriously give up red meat to see her naked. I bet she would look hot sawing the third leg off the stool. Taking out the trash and dressed in a robe says she's down to earth and is like most Americans. The zebra slippers can only mean she's a serious wildcat in the sack. If you're going to do the hibbity-dibbity with Jessica make sure you stretch properly.

Ugh...

As I've mentioned before I have a real problem with the politically correct, let's be nice and sensitive to everyone world we're becoming. It's just too much to bear right now. So when I hear about a study stating kids are playing too many sports and suffering injuries I've got to stop and put my beer down. Excuse me? Too much sports? Who the hell is paying money for this type of bullshit?! Do you really want your kid to look like the picture to the right? You don't want your kid with that cottage cheese, pockmarked body do you? In case you're wondering that's a photo of Britney Spears which further proves why she's now a fug pig who only the most desparate of men should be beating off to. I think I'd rather put my dick in a meat grinder.

But back to the subject. Kids in the states are already fat enough and these types of studies serve no purpose except to cause parents to overreact more than they already do and pull their kids from any type of physical activity. We need kids who are competitive, hate to lose, and strive to get better. That's what this country is about. When 12 year olds are falling over dead in their biggie size meals maybe we'll get a clue.

The world's greatest show

Being a man of culture, I find the need to educate some of my less intelligent readers. Sometimes when I come across an educational program I feel the need to share it with my dozens of readers. It's similar to the way I shared my bed with the beautiful ladies. After all, should I be selfish and keep my tremendous lovemaking skills to myself? Of course not!

So it is with great pleasure I tell you about "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." This show comes on FX and I believe will start its third season June 28th. It's been a long time since I've laughed this hard. The show is about four people--basically degenerates--who own an Irish bar in Philly. Every week you get to watch and see if they can lower themselves further into depravity. And they succeed each time. You can go to iTunes and pull down the full episodes and you can find clips on youtube. You can't get funnier than two guys going to abortion rallies to get laid, Charlie pretending to have cancer so he can get a date, Dennis and Mac finding a dead guy in the bar and trying to bang the granddaughter...just your basic, simple smart humor here, people.

Guilty pleasures

So it's a bit of a slow time right now with ideas. Maybe because work has crushed my spirit so bad I don't give a flying fuck. Anyways, I left work early today (personal reasons) and plopped down on the couch. Of course there's nothing on television, but I happened upon a past guilty pleasure of mine--90210. This was one of the crappier ones toward the end when Kelly was an obnoxious bitch and everything was going downhill.

It's sad to admit, but I was hooked to this damn show like you would not believe! When I lived in Germany we didn't get a lot of shows so you watched what was on or you didn't watch anything at all. I remember 90210 came on and I thought "okay, this show's alright." From that moment on I was hooked. I graduated high school and college with these people for christ's sake! It got so bad during college I used to lie to my classmates whenever we were going to get together for a class project or if we needed to have a meeting. I would make something up about having another meeting, which wasn't true. But 7PM on Wednesday nights was my 90210 night. I know, it's sad. But the ladies thought it was sweet and it helped me bring in the ladies so maybe it wasn't all bad...

And the sad thing is there wasn't a single chick on this show I would've banged. Donna looked "slow", Kelly just didn't do it for me, and Brenda had that damn dead tooth and gap tooth around the side of her mouth. There were a couple of hotties who'd pop up now and again, but not much. Towards the end Vanessa Marcil wasn't shabby and Tiffany Thiessen was alright if you liked chicks with heads the size of stop signs.

Spurs-Cavs in the NBA Finals

Cleveland is in its first-ever NBA finals against the juggernaut Spurs. The Cavs came back from 2-0 down in the Eastern Conference finals to beat Detroit. Why does ESPN try to make a big story out of nothing? Oooh, is this the end of Detroit? The end of an era? Give me a fucking break. They'll be back. Rasheed Wallace is a mental case, though.

As for the series itself, maybe I'll watch a few minutes of each of the games. I don't care too much about pro basketball though. Stupid regular season that doesn't mean shit and a postseason that drags on for 2 months. Anyways, when i think of this series I think of the year the Magic made it to the finals against the Olajuwan-led Rockets. Shaq's Magic went down in 5 games, which is how I see this series going. Spurs win the title 4-1.

Michelle Wie's comeback hits a snag

14-over par through 16 holes. That was the score Michelle Wie had posted before withdrawing from the Ginn Tribute during the first round. Her reason was the wrist injury she had been rehabbing for four months had suddenly flared up on her. From her round though, I don't know if that was the case. I watched some of the highlights and it was an ugly round. At one par 3 she hit wildly off to the right twice in a row! She had some HUGE blowups including a 6 on the par 3 14th and 10 on the par 5 3rd--those are some BIG scores for a pro.

At 14 over she was in danger of being banned from the LPGA for the rest of year. There is a rule stating any nonmember who shoots an 88 or higher in a tournament round will be banned for the year. Wie, of course, is a free agent of sorts and does not have member status. Wie said she did not withdraw because of the possibility of shooting 88, but due to the wrist. The funny thing is, after making another bogey on the 7th hole (her 16th of the day) she spoke to her agent and then went to a Tour official announcing she was done for the day. According to an article on espn.com, soon after getting to 12-over, her parents and agent began consulting with each other. Wie says she tweaked the wrist at some point during the round, but no one out there can recall her being cautious or trying to work the wrist out on the course. Seems a little fishy if you ask me. If you're hurt why wait until you have two holes to go before withdrawing? If you're her parents why risk aggravating the injury further when the LPGA's second major is coming up next week?

We'll never know the truth, but I've got to think Wie's entourage wanted to spare her the embarrassment of being banned. And the LPGA was probably happy, too, because they would have lost large amounts of money in ticket sales without the phenom. Wie now hasn't broken par in an LPGA event since last July. If she keeps this up people will eventually stop coming to watch a might-have-been (can you say Ty Tryon and Casey Wittenberg?).

You can read the ESPN article here.

Billy Donovan leaves Florida--a mistake?

So it looks like Billy Donovan's tenure at the University of Florida has come to end. Donovan accepted a 5-year deal worth $27.5 million to join the Orlando Magic as their head coach. Donovan is the latest in a line of successful college basketball coaches to move up to the pro ranks. Here are two names that come to mind when I think of this move: Tim Floyd and Lon Kruger. Where are those guys, you might ask. Tim Floyd had a great year as USC's head coach and Lon Kruger has been a big part of UNLV's turnaround as their head man. Two guys who were successful and felt the need to be challenged by the NBA. Mike Montgomery felt the need to move from Stanford to Golden State only to be fired. Rick Pitino is having success at Louisville after an unsuccessful stint in Boston. The list goes on. Sometimes guys learn and don't go back. Lou Holtz is an example that comes to mind as is Steve Spurrier. The track record of these coaches doesn't bode well for Billy the Kid at the pro ranks.

There is, however, a difference. Tim Floyd took a job with the Bulls when they were in serious decline. The big names had already come and gone and the Bulls were certainly in disrepair and were for quite a while after he left. Lon Kruger became the head coach of a team that had already hit rock bottom and continues to dig to this day. Maybe the GMs and owners thought they'd bring in a college coach to bring along the young talent. However, young pros are not the same as young student athletes. Instead of a 20-year old junior you have a 20-year old multimillionaire. Owners are going to side with the investment--coaches are a dime a dozen, but the next Kobe (which there seem to be plenty of) is priceless.

So Donovan comes in with a good foundation and an Orlando Magic team that made the playoffs last year. Dwight Howard looks like a budding all star and I believe this team is going in the right direction. So during his press conference today, when Donovan said, "...the next step would be to do something that would really challenge me as a person and coach and help me me grow and get better." Translation: if this was the Celtics or Bobcats you can bet your ass I wouldn't going unless I wanted to get fired in two years.