We all make mistakes

To all of my loyal reader, a while back I posted a blog about Jennifer Love Hewitt and that we needed to see her naked soon. How she was such a cock tease. Well, I've made mistakes before. And when you look at the picture on the right you can see I made one HUGE mistake--huge like the cottage cheese thighs on JLH. Talk about a cure for priapism--yeesh!

Nebraska coaching search down to 2?

Like most people have been speculating since the Bill Callahan is fired rumors started. It was said Tom Osbourne wanted to bring in a guy who had ties to Nebraska and understood how important the Cornhuskers program is to the state. Let's face it. If there wasn't a Cornhusker football team the state would lead the nation in suicides. The two leading candidates for the job are current University of Buffalo head coach Turner Gill and LSU Defensive Coordinator Bo Pelini. According to ESPN.com, "Radio talk shows and Internet message boards have, ad nauseam, addressed the merits of Gill and Pelini. Fans have taken particular interest in those two because of their ties to the school." Let's talk about ties to the school. When I think of having ties to a school I think of a person who has spent years at a school or was a player there. Turner Gill I can understand. Dude was a star quarterback for the Huskers. He can do no wrong in the state of Nebraska. Bo Pelini? Dude grew up in Ohio and played for Ohio State. And he was a coach there--FOR ONE YEAR! You want ties, bring back Frank Solich. What did he do to get fired the first time? He won 10 games, which was somehow disappointing. Callahan had to go, but Huskers fans, give me a break with the school ties thing. I once took a shit in Boston. Maybe I can use my ties to the city to run for mayor...

Whose career is going down faster than a hooker paid $50?

That's right. It's Britney Spears. This is how I like to remember Britney Spears. A young, tasty piece with a tight everything. The chick wasn't very talented--it was the body. Throw some heavy breathing singing and a techno-hip hop track and there you go. Nothing more, nothing less. And now the magazines think it's her shitty family history that's the reason for her sudden fall. There are LOTS of people with shitty families. There was a statement about her showing a reporter her fake ID during an interview when she was 17. Who WASN'T drinking at 17? Give me a break. And now there's a story about Britney Spears going into a store and trying on underwear in a store before walking out with a mannequin's wig. I'm sure it was her family that caused her to become a fat, bald, sloppy piece of shit who has zero parenting skills...

A 'Dancing with the Stars' Conspiracy?

I only watch this show for the hot piece of trim at the right, but I've noticed something when my wife is watching it using our DVR. How is Marie Osmond still on this show? First, she passes out after one of her routines. So that buys you an extra week with the sympathy vote. Then her dad dies, which of course buys her another week on the show even though she's clearly the worst dancer left on the show. I'm guessing Marie's handlers decided killing off another Osmond wouldn't produce the same results as her dad kicking the bucket. So how is she still on? The Mormons. Yes, Julianne (the talent in the picture) is Mormon, but it's obvious she's like the hot cousin from The Munsters to them--an oddity to be ridiculed and pitied. Marie Osmond is like their Queen and the giant Mormon behemoth will not be denied the chance for glory!

Ladies, don't marry a Peterson!

First there was Scott Peterson and now Drew Peterson. A woman married to a Peterson's life expectancy has got to be around 30-35. If you're an insurance salesman and a Mr. Peterson comes in to take out a life insurance policy on his wife, Mrs. Peterson, call the cops. Immediately. Because a murder's about to happen!

Houston Nutt is out at Arkansas

It looks like Houston Nutt is out as head coach of the Arkansas Razorbacks. Before you cry for the ball coach keep in mind he's going to get a nice settlement check (ESPN.com says about $3.5 million) for his troubles. How did Houston Nutt end up here you might ask? In 10 years Nutt won 61% of his games, won three SEC West titles and took his team to the SEC Championship game twice. Yep. Pretty decent I'd say.

There were some problems along the way. Houston Nutt was a serious candidate for the Nebraska job when it came open and I don't think Arkansas fans ever got over that. Mitch Mustain, who was proclaimed to be the greatest Arkansas high school football player ever, went to Arkansas for a year and then transferred. Apparently he thought he, a freshman, should be getting more playing time than the kick-ass run duo of Darren McFadden and Felix Jones. They also had some ass clown receiver whose dad said he'd be getting 80 catches at another school. As a fan I understand the situation. In 2004 a little running back tandem of Cadillac Williams and Ronnie Brown were beating the shit out of everyone in the SEC on their way to an undefeated season. Jason Campbell was a solid reliable quarterback, but we weren't relying on him. Arkansas fans used the Freedom of Information Act to get Houston Nutt's cell phone records because there were rumors he was having an affair.

These are some REALLY grateful fans, huh? Here's the problem with Arkansas fans: they're expecting too much. You're the Arkansas Razorbacks. You should be happy with 8 wins in a season and SEC championship-contention every 4 years or so. You just aren't an elite program and probably never will be. It's that simple and when this guy goes you're screwed.

Besides the money, Houston Nutt will get another job somewhere else (Ole Miss should throw money at this guy) and there's another reason to be happy to leave now. Darren McFadden is definitely gone--he could've left last year and decided to stay. No way you get another year out of him. Felix Jones is a junior and chances are he's a lock first-rounder as well. He might stay only if he thinks being the feature back will improve his NFL stock and get him some top 5 considerations next year. Marcus Monk, who was hurt this year, but is a beast, is a senior and will be gone. This team relied on its Wildcat (or Wild Hog) formation--if you saw the Arkansas-LSU game you realized they ran out of that formation something like 75% of the time. Houston Nutt should thank his lucky stars he's leaving because next year's team will be seriously fug.

Who took care of business?

Hawaii did with a convincing victory over their rivals, Boise St. With an outright WAC title and BCS bowl bid on the line, the Warriors from Hawaii stepped up to the plate and punched the Broncos in the mouth. Colt Brennan completed almost 80% of his passes for 495 yards and 5 touchdowns. The defense for Hawaii actually stepped up in the running game, an area teams normally take advantage of, but it was a total team effort that understood what was on the line and did what it had to do.

A team that managed to take care of business albeit in a completely different fashion than Hawaii was Tennessee. With a chance to head to the SEC championship game against LSU and possibly go to the Sugar Bowl with a win, the Vols blow a 24-7 halftime lead. They have two great chances to put up a game-ending score in the last 6-7 minutes of the game and both times they punt. Even a field goal would have forced Kentucky to go for a touchdown, which Kentucky almost got to win the game. With a stop in the 4th overtime Tennessee is headed to Atlanta and I'm sure they'll be looking to take LSU to OT since they suck so bad. I give Tennessee a shot next weekend because of the severe letdown LSU feels from blowing a chance at the national title, Les Miles is going to be blamed by fans for having his mind on the Michigan job, and I really can't stand the drunkards from Baton Rouge one bit.

Speaking of taking care of business, West Virginia decided to leave no question as to who should be in the title game with a 66-21 ass whipping of Connecticut. The Mountaineers are a very scary team right now. i don't think it matters who they play they would be the favorite in my book. Again, they knew what was required to achieve their goals and they laid down the hammer on the Huskies.