This guy hacked the iPhone

I read an article earlier this week about a teen who collaborated with some peeps to hack the iPhone, allowing it to be used with other cellular carriers. I didn't see a pic of the kid, but when you look at him here it's easy to see why. Wouldn't it be crazy if a guy that looked like me or Tom Brady hacked the iPhone instead? Talk about a curve ball!

Pretty savvy, though, trading the phone for a brand new Nissan 350Z and 3 8GB iPhones. A very nice ride for sure, but it doesn't mean anything. Judging by the picture I'm guessing this kid will be pretty busy not getting laid well into his 30s.

Owen Wilson--again

I saw an article that talked about actors who seem so successful and yet commit suicide or do drugs, etc. Comedic actors are so troubled on the inside--such tragic figures in their private lives. Blah, blah, blah. Why can't they just be fucked up? The media tries to make these people so complex. It's like I never understood why in an English lit class professors want to examine and interpret authors' works. Why couldn't it just be that's what the author was writing? Not everything has to have a meaning, you jackasses. Owen Wilson's life is so tough laying pipe to his choice of hot ass and making tons of movies that make millions. Life is so hard. If I hear Owen Wilson on Larry King telling American how the pressures of fame got to him I'm going to slit MY wrists! I can't stand it when actors say this kind of bullshit. If you have so much fame and money and the pressure is getting to you, here's a hint: GO AWAY! If you have that kind of coin then just leave everything behind. But of course that doesn't happen because these jerkoffs are a bunch of attention whores so instead they play the pity card.

I saw in a blog someone write, "we love you Owen and need you back, you are a part of us and always will be." Huh?! You don't know this person so why write to them as though you do? I'm sure this poster hopes that one day some famous person will read her post, write back, and fall in love. Let me tell you something, sister--it's the 250 pounds on your frame and 12 cats that are keeping the men away.

Just once I'd like to see a post from someone that said, "Hey, Owen, do us all a favor and use a gun next time." But that wouldn't be up for long because it's too real and not the accepted opinion.

Why?

What is it with lottery winners? They always seem to be like the people in this article. Can't there be a normal person like me to win? Is God that much of a prankster that he's got to give the jackpot to some 90-year old who wouldn't understand the pleasure of offering $10,000 to a couple of girls to make out with each other in public? Or the guy who is going to kill himself in a couple of years? Why do they have to have a killer mullet like this guy? I guess sometimes life is just a horrible bitch goddess...

My argument about shitty music is made stronger

Unfortunately, I heard Britney Spears' new single today and I almost drove my car into incoming traffic. Horrible. After seeing pictures like the one here you realize this bitch can't do the sexy thing anymore with that stupid, breathy voice. Her ass has more lumps in it than mashed potatoes. It looks like someone stuffed a bunch of jello in a bag...I'm gonna go throw up now.

What happened to the great music?

I'm a music lover. I got it from my dad, who listens to all kinds of music. I can remember as a kid listening to salsa, jazz, blues, Cuban son, Spanish guitar instrumentals, etc. It didn't matter what genre of music so long as it spoke to him. I know where I got for my love of all kinds of music from. Look in my car and you'll see I have music ranging from D'Angelo to Stevie Ray Vaughn to John Mayer to the Foo Fighters and the Buena Vista Social Club. You could find me listening to Toby Keith just as easily as Rage Against the Machine or Cypress Hill.

Notice I don't really have a lot of new music when I list what I'm checking out. To me it's because music has become a cookie cutter business. Everything is the same. Sure, I like some of the songs from bands like Plain White Tees and Fallout Boy. However, if I didn't know the song I couldn't tell you the difference between these bands, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, and Boy Meets Girl. It's all the same crap with different names. Even when I was a teenager enjoying my heavy metal days you could tell the difference between Metallica, Slayer, and Motley Crue. Everyone had a different sound. You'd never mistake Ice T for NWA's Ice Cube, Dr Dre, and Eazy-E.

Maybe I'm just getting too old for this new music, but I rarely buy a new CD because of the crap we listen to. Give me a Chet Baker album any time. He's the guy in the picture and the dude was one bad motherfucker when it came to jazz. His song "The Thrill is Gone" is hauntingly beautiful and if you've never heard it you need to--even if it's just once. He had an unbelievably distinct voice and you'd never confuse him for someone else just like you'd never mistake Muddy Waters for Stevie Ray Vaughn.

Nowadays all of this crap just runs together. Give me some music that speaks to me. Something that makes me want to close my eyes and be taken somewhere. A great piece of music that makes you feel something--anger, sadness, joy, whatever.

Punishment should fit the crime?

Woman tries to flush baby down the toilet

This bitch is a real piece of work. For a quick recap, she goes to the bathroom. When she doesn't return, her McDonald's coworkers check on her and call paramedics. They find her on the floor and her new-born 32-week old baby in the toilet. The monster tells paramedics she tried to flush the baby several times and the she didn't know she was pregnant. Paramedics did revive the baby and unfortunately the mother is doing fine. This bitch is a god-awful liar. Did she think she had a really bad, 8 month stomach bug or something. Why not give the baby up for adoption?

When I see this kind of crap I have to say the Saudis have it right. When you steal in Saudi Arabia they cut off your hand. Talk about learning a lesson. This idiot won't get anything and probably be allowed to procreate again. I say fuck that. You're 20 years old, not 16. Unfortunately, society will try to figure out how it failed this girl rather than realizing she's nothing but a worthless piece of shit.

The #1 cause for uncontrolled vomitting in America

I don't know why I keep posting pictures of super-fug Britney Spears. It's like a bad car wreck and you can't help but watch something like this. It'd take a lot of booze and a special blend of hallucinogens to get me to put my pecker in that meat grinder of hers...